Sex Personals News And Reviews

Marriage Wisdom : Recipe for success!!!

Advice From Our Readers

Published: July 02. 2005 12:00AM
Compiled by Giovanna Midgley Free Press Staff Writer

Libby Dudley (ORLEANS) offered advice in the form of a convenient acronym:

M — Manage to compromise

A — Always be on time

R — Remember to care for each other

R — Recreation helps to keep you healthy

I — Ideally find a sport you both enjoy

A — Aim for a goal you both want to pursue

G — Giving of your love is most important

E — Each of you always respect your spouse

Libby and her husband have been married for almost 59 years. She says, “I also think you should have a good sense of humor. We attend church, play golf, ski and go dancing.” They both feel very fortunate to have one another, especially as a lot of their friends are in nursing homes.

I. W. (ESSEX) had four ideas to sustain a long and happy marriage:

1. Find a great marriage counselor. Life takes unpredictable twists and turns. Having a neutral, sensitive, knowledgeable person to help you over the biggest hurdles is invaluable. If you can locate and agree on using a particular person as mediator before trouble starts, even better!

2. Prepare to change your “plans.” Surprise job changes, pregnancies, etc., will thwart your best laid plans in the course of a marriage. Be ready to renegotiate everything. I am always taken aback when I hear a harried mom say wistfully, “Well, we had agreed we wanted a large family.” Kudos to my friends Sallie and David who told everyone they wanted “six kids” and realized after two children that they could swallow their pride and stop with fewer, having had their fill.

3. Share the burdens in a truly “modern” fashion, even after kids arrive. My husband works full time outside the home. That doesn’t mean he automatically puts up his feet or continues “working” from home at the end of a long day. Housework and kid care happen 24/7, and he helps out with both each evening. In the best marriages, I think, husbands and wives cross over the traditional lines of responsibility, so that a well-deserved break is something both partners can look forward to on a regular basis.

4. Shoot for 50-50. Most marriages are “unequal” in different areas, be it earning power or meal prepping. The secret is to shoot for overall equality — knowing you’ll never make it and hoping you’ll come close. If your wife can’t write a check or your husband can’t find the vacuum, it’s time for a serious talk. Each partner should be able, willing and eager to pinch hit for the other when necessary — or just to be nice.

Irene and her husband have been married more than 13 years and have two children, 4 and 7.

Walter and Jeanette Troescher (WINOOSKI). After 50 years of marriage to Walter, Jeanette believes their secret is a simple one:

Communication. “If you cannot talk about things with your partner, there is a real lock there,” she said. This advice might seem somewhat straightforward, but for couples busy with careers, children and recreational commitments, it is easy for the lines of communication to become clogged. Jeanette and Walter have always remained open and receptive to one another, without being distracted or overwhelmed with the upbringing of four children. Fifty years later and with nine beautiful grandchildren, they are still going strong. They renewed their vows before friends and family May 21.

Leslie and Marie Ganson (VERGENNES). Marie was 18 when she married her 21-year-old fiance, Les, just three months after they met. June 1, they celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary:

Over the years, Les and Marie have maintained a healthy balance of give and take. Rather than being headstrong or selfish in pursuing one’s own goals, the couple have adopted a happier philosophy of compromise and listening to one another. Perhaps this is why Marie describes her partnership with Les as a “meeting of minds.” This connection is what has kept them together, for better or worse, throughout the ups and downs of 70 years together.

Burlington Free Press - Living

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One Response to “Marriage Wisdom : Recipe for success!!!”

1. IAW wrote on 07/29/05 at 12:02 pm :

   To the blogmaster:
   Would you please remove my name (the Essex resident above) from this article and use my initials instead? Thank you very much!

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